Apothecary

Thank you for stopping by the Apothecary! Here is where I usually share my book research on herbal remedies and historical tidbits that people employed to help themselves live longer and more comfortably. But since I’ve been smacked with another cancer occurrence, I will be documenting my journey here. This is a good place to check if you want to stay up to date on my life and death battle. Some I will also post on my personal FB page and some will be posted in my Weekly Inner Circle Newsletter group, but I’ll make sure all or most of it is also here. So here we go! (LOL, sounds like we are going on a fun ride instead of a quest to live to grow old with my Highland hero, Braden).

August 13, 2026

I got up early yesterday to eat because I needed to stop eating 4 hours before the PET scans. We arrived early and found the PET scan place at Big Duke Cancer Center. It’s a really nice, huge place. Someone was playing a grand piano in the lobby. A little different from the small hospital up in Maine. I wouldn’t say better, just different. Here at a big hospital you’re more of a number since they see so many people. In Maine I felt more of a person. 

Braden and I go into a small room with a squeaky recliner and a TV and a nurse. She goes over things, including my allergies, and puts my IV in. She’s friendly and helpful. She says I have to drink a barium drink too for contrast. I hate that stuff, but I’m a grown ass woman and will try. It’s vanilla flavor – ugh. There were choices but she said that was the one people complained about the least. 

She was about to prep me for getting CT dye contrast. I said something like “that’s different from regular CT dye, right? Because I’m allergic to that.” She had just gone through my allergies. She stopped. The docs had ordered a regular CT too, along with the PET scans. And yes, it was the stuff that I’m allergic to. Normally they would have to get me a Prednisone prep (a prescription for a steroid to take 13 hours, 7 hours, and 1 hour before the iv dye was injected into me) in order to stop an anaphylactic reaction. They didn’t do that. So I couldn’t get the CT scan with iv contrast. At this point Braden became my PR person because I was certain RAGE would flow out of me if I talked. I told EVERYONE about that allergy. Not a single nurse, scheduler, doctor, or technician said “let’s get you that prescription the day before the scan”. It is like no one thinks for themselves. They just follow a set of SOPs and if a patient doesn’t comply (like me doing things in a different order because we were in Maine), then things don’t happen.

They also had none of my blood test reports or pictures in their system even though I drove up to a hospital in Maine to have it done ahead of time. It was so urgent for me to get the labs and then none of it was placed in my Duke chart. None. I had to pull them up on my phone to show the nurse my labs and then she re-ran some anyway. What the hell is all this going to cost? Repeated surgeries and labs! Okay, see – the RAGE comes out even in my typing.

I drank the chalky vanilla-ish yuk (3/4 of it anyway). So my stomach started roiling. We sat for an hour so the PET scan radioactive sugar tracer could circulate in my body looking for cancer cells. Then I laid on a table with my arms overhead and spent 15 minutes talking my stomach into not blowing up with gas while I held still for the PET scans. 

We drove home afterwards with me nauseous and gassy. I spent the rest of the night in discomfort and couldn’t sleep from the stomach pains, probably from the barium vanilla yuk. I woke up at 3AM and it still hurt. But by 8 AM, I’m feeling better. Going to eat some yogurt now and hope my stomach doesn’t reject it. 

Now to wait for the PET scan results and see if we need to reschedule the contrast dye CT scan. 

August 11, 2026

Thank you all for your prayers and healthy wishes and vibes sent my way ❤
 
Yesterday was a huge disappointment. I had surgery but the cancer is still in me.
 
Even though Braden and I worked with a Patient Navigator to set up tests and the surgery before we returned, the uro oncology surgeon had not been informed of my first surgery in Maine. She had not seen the pathology report (even though I sent it) and was not prepared to remove the cancer. This was all told to me just before going into the OR with iv in place, etc.
 
What she did do was take more biopsies (painful because she dug into the bladder wall) and put dye into my ureters up to my kidneys to check them. Thankfully the ureters and kidneys looked clear. Now we have to wait for another pathology report before they will remove the tumor from the outside of my bladder.
 
She said lots of scary things too. “It’s got to be a recurrence of ovarian.” “We might have to remove your bladder.” “We need to see where else this might have spread first.” “You might have to do chemo first before we remove the tumor.”
Braden looked gray but kept it together much better than me. He asked good questions and probably remembers the answers where I just tried not to hyperventilate.
 
When she left, I turned to Braden and said “I want so badly to grow old with you.” And he said “We are already old.” LOL : ) He always has a way to lighten things. But I want another 30 years of growing old.
 
So…I have two full body PET scans tomorrow. Then we wait for those results and the new pathology report. And a couple appointments before we come up with a plan.
 
I was in a lot of pain yesterday after surgery even with pain meds, so thinking positively was very hard. I gave the nurses an interesting day by almost passing out when I was getting in the wheelchair to leave, so they had to help me back to the bed and check me all over. It was decided that the pain meds were making me wobbly and I was still upset and the nurse had just told me about how his own mother had died of cancer a year ago. Anyway – I finally got in the car and poor Braden had to take care of a weepy Heather.
 
Mom was home and talked to me and rubbed my feet and we waited for the pain meds to kick in. Once the pain was handled a bit, I could be much more positive.
 
This morning, the pain is almost gone as long as I don’t start cleaning and unpacking my very cluttered house. I just need to take one day at a time. I’m trying hard not to focus on the ticking bomb sitting in me. I will keep you all in the loop as best I can. I just can’t think straight when I’m in pain, so I have to wait until that ebbs before I can write.
 
Please continue to keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. I hate that I’m putting them through this again. It’s just not fair. But then life is not fair. But it can be good even in the bad times. I just need to focus on that. Hugs ❤ Heather

August 3, 2026

I have a surgery date at Duke Medical- Monday, August 10, the day after I get home. I won’t even be home 24 hours when I need to go in, but the sooner the better I guess.
 
I don’t have a time yet, and I’m having the pre-op appointment over the phone this week.
The urology oncologist will do the surgery since she knows how to use the robotic arms to excise the tumor where it’s attached to the outside of my bladder wall while holding both sides of the cut bladder wall together so she can sew it closed. I certainly don’t need my bladder deflating like a cut balloon. Then they will wash the inside of the bladder with a chemotherapy agent incase any cells remain.
I will thankfully be asleep for all this. Not sure how I’ll feel when I wake up. I guess I won’t be doing return-home laundry and grocery shopping for a bit.
 
My PET scans are scheduled for two days after surgery to look to see if there is anymore active cancer in my body. PET scans are like MRIs but with contrast and radioactive sugar consumed to light up where active cancer is “eating” the sugar. Doesn’t sound like fun since I’ll be in a tube for awhile, so they will give me some valium. Yay for modern medical drugs!
 
We won’t know until after the new pathology report, a new CA125 blood test, and the results from the PET scans as to my treatment plan. Praying this surgery will take care of it and I can heal and go on with my life. If chemo is required, I will do it, but I know how terrible that is, and I’m terrified to go through it again. But with Braden at my side and my incredibly supportive family and my army of all of you, I can face anything.
 
July 23, 2026

I had ovarian and uterine cancers 15 years ago and have been in remission since then. Now I have cancer back, although they aren’t certain of the type. It is not bladder or urachal cancers, so my GYN oncologist assumes it’s a recurrence of ovarian. I hope it is not. Ovarian cancer that comes back is pretty deadly. I mean it’s deadly when it starts too, but a recurrence is BAD. After 10 years, a recurrence is very rare. But my body is apparently a hot bed of cancer fertilizer. Grrr…

I’m lucky that we found it this summer so we can act on it. Hopefully it’s early enough to beat. Not sure yet. 

For now I sort of sway between badass warrior energy and a puddle of teary worry. Olive has been very sweet. She is rather stand offish usually and gives great side eye when I want to cuddle. But she’s been coming up to sleep on me and watching me with her big brown eyes. When Braden held me this morning as I teared up, Olive refused to be left out and demanded to be in the middle of our hug : ) Laughter and dog cuddles is great medicine. 

July 20, 2026

 
Met with the doctor and feeling a bit better. Yes it is cancer but they don’t know what type. Looks slow growing. It’s not bladder or ureachal cancer. It could be endometrial in nature or a very odd recurrence of ovarian. Next step is a PET scan to see if it’s active anywhere else and the second surgery down in NC. Results from those will determine if I need to do chemo again.
 
I’m working up here in Maine to schedule everything for when we get home. I asked for a Patient Navigator at Duke GYN Oncology and they assigned one. Best thing I could have done!
 
Nurse Kim has already gotten me an urology appointment, a GYN appointment, my CA125 lab draw scheduled, and two difficult-to-schedule PET scans set up. And even though I haven’t yet met with the docs, she’s asked if it would be possible to set up the surgery date. And she responds to my messages every day! Yay Nurse Kim!
 
I’m hanging in up here, trying to stay positive. I meditate on the cancer tumor shrinking. I feel rather like I’m beating off the Grim Reaper with blueberry pie and fresh sea air. I’m obviously trying to move quickly, but I’m thankful I could stay up for my last week here.
Thank you for all the prayers and healthy vibes! ❤

July 9, 2026

I had the surgery at a small hospital in Ellsworth, Maine. Despite the pealing wallpaper in the pre-op room, everyone was fantastic and professional. Since I had a little cough, they gave me an epidural instead of putting a tube down in my lungs for anesthesia. Don’t worry, I was asleep with something I breathed in. They also gave me some happy juice in my iv. I actually dreamt about opening a gelato store and was trying all the different flavors! 

The surgeon was fabulous. I had little pain and no bleeding when I got home. Because of the epidural, my butt felt HUGE. Like when the dentist numbs your lip and it feels really big. That was my butt until it wore off that night. Now to wait for the pathology report.

July 7, 2026

I went in for a CT scan a couple weeks ago. We were looking for a possible hernia to explain my leg/abdominal pain. They didn’t find a hernia. They found a mass growing through my bladder wall. I went yesterday to meet with a urologist and we got a close up look at it. It is not a cyst. It is angry and vascular and is probably cancer. What kind? We don’t know.

We DO NOT want it to be bladder cancer, because the fact it has penetrated the wall would mean it’s advanced – very bad.
My CA125 came back 10, which is good. I’m usually around an 8 and a jump of two points is not indicative of active ovarian cancer. Because we DO NOT want it to be a recurrence of OC that attached to the bladder and bored through it.
I’m praying for it to be a benign weird growth, but if it must be cancer I pray it’s some weird little cancer that can just be removed.

Picture of mass on inside of bladder wall

This doc up here in a small hospital is actually a urologist who is on the board at Mass General and Harvard Medical for 27 years working in uro oncology. I asked him what he was doing up here. Personal reasons about wanting to help people at the beginning of cancer journeys, but regardless “You won the lottery finding me up here.” Yes, he’s cocky enough to convince me he’s a good surgeon. : )

My oldest daughter is a lawyer and did a thorough background check on him last night and everything he told us is true and he has many 5 star reviews. So when he said we need to do surgery now to find out what it is, I am going to do it. 

Hopefully by the time you receive this, I will be going under anesthesia (Thursday), but Braden has had a cold and now I have a cough. If I feel worse tomorrow, they are going to postpone (not good). 

He will only be able to remove the part inside the bladder. I will have to go home to Duke University Hospital where there is a robotic arm that can take out the rest and sew my bladder back together. 

I’m terrified and shook all day yesterday. I went through 15 months of horrendous chemo for ovarian cancer. The thought of doing that again or more is horrifying. The thought of a bladder cancer advanced enough to grow through the wall is also horrifying. Both are life threatening. Dammit – I’m only 55yo. Life is not fair. I know it isn’t, but dammit!

I’m grateful that my kids are grown this time, although they still need me so much. But I’m calmer this time or I wouldn’t be writing to all of you : )

 

 

 

 

 

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Now we will send you back to your previously scheduled programing in the Apothecary: 

Herbs/plants were (and still are) used in various ways as cures to disease and injury: 

Poultices: a paste applied externally and often wrapped up with linen strips

“A traditional poultice is made by combining an infusion of healing herbs or plants with binding agents such as baking soda and water to form a paste. This material is applied directly to the affected area so that the beneficial compounds can penetrate the skin tissue and help draw out harmful substances.” https://natureslinkwellness.com/salves-poultices/

 

 

 

Salves/Balms: like a poultice but tends to have a waxy or oil base and it is rubbed directly into the skin without the bandage holding it in place

Brews/Infusions: drinks with the herb boiled or soaked in it to release the healing components. Yarrow, pictured here, was and still is used as a “tea” to help stomach and menstrual cramping.

Yarrow Plant

 

Tinctures: concentrated liquid usually ingested

“Tinctures are concentrated herbal extracts made by soaking the bark, berries, leaves (dried or fresh), or roots from one or more plants in alcohol or vinegar.

The alcohol or vinegar pulls out the active ingredients in the plant parts, concentrating them as a liquid.” https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-a-tincture

At Beltane (May 1st) young women in rural Scotland would roll in the dawn dew, letting it wet their faces. This was thought to bring beauty and health for the year to come.

 

“All that man needs for health and healing has been provided by God in nature, the challenge of science is to find it.” Philippus Theophrastrus Bombast that of Aureolus ~ Paracelsus (1493-1541)

PARIS, FRANCE – JANUARY 11: Paracelsus, was a Swiss physician, alchemist and astrologer of the German Renaissance. Stone relief at the building of the Faculte de Medicine Paris, France on January 11, 2018.